Climbing The Ladder

I never thought in a million years I would have to defend my position on the ladder of friendship. I understand this will be put to a vote by the current rungs. So, I will have to appeal to each one of you individually . Hold on, its a nick jonas and Miley Cyrus video.....Now I'm inspired...here we go.

Justin
You know I have always appreciated your friendship. I understand you recently got put back on the ladder you were once taken off of. So, you of all people should not want to put me through that hell, that you have experienced first hand.....hold on that miley, NIck song ended up being a Selena Gomez and the other two brothers video......This could totally make a good porn. Anyway, point is I fully expect to receive your vote. If you vote for me I will suck your balls whilste you do the famous Justin Balls voice....I luv it.

Next

Chad
Do I really need to beg for your vote? We have slept together, eaten together, through a gay party together, and last but not least we bought dish tv together. You wouldn't even be on this ladder if it wasn't for me getting team leader in our business management class earning me an even higher score than the group. Thank god I have killer paper rock siccor skills. Chad if you vote for me I will let you win paper rock siccors for sucking your balls. But just to be safe lets say if I win I suck your balls too.

also next

Matt
We have done a lot together. You even let my evil hampster live in your house for a while, at the same time Brian Appleseed lived there, that's when I knew you liked me. Remember that time I filled your hole at your house. I even had some of my mud get on me and had to use your hose to wash it off. I had to turn your hose on first and then, turn it off till the liquid stopped cumming out. But, that's neither here nor there. For you, to earn your vote, I will do something different than the other two, I will suck your balls, whilste using both thumbs simultaneously shoving them up your hiney hole.

Last but not least
Fred
I, in no way expect to receive your vote. But I do know it has to suck to not have anybody to compete with. We have done the milk challenge together, peep challenge, cracker challenge, and swim ac cross the pond challenge. If I'm not on the ladder who would you have to compete with. Regardless of if you vote for me, I will full out have gay sex with you(not after your married though....it's a sin at that point)

So, Gentlemen, I would appreciate to stay on the ladder. I am still the same person I was before I left for Louisiana, except I play pool, and magic the gathering. I in know way have increased my friend making abilities down here(or made myself more appealing to other guys....please note the magic and pool reference). I haven't made any new friends, no matter how many guys balls I suck. If I don't have you that I have nothing. That would leave me with my wife and son, and what kind of life would that be just to have those two. In closing, no matter what happens, can we still suck each others balls from time to time.

Take a while and think about what your losing if you don't vote for me.

Your Yahoo Fantasy Football Champion,
El Grande Vergas

I mean just Clint

P.S.
If you don't vote for me or let me suck your balls....I will rape you

I'm So Money

I am writing this post namely to brag on myself. Over the last few months I have taken the hobby of pool, nine ball in particular. I play on a team, and we recently won a tourney this weekend that gets us to Vegas. So, if anyone is planning a trip to Vegas, I will be there from the 20-26th, and staying at the Regency to participate in this huge tourney.(also, if you want to stay at the Regency this week I would book ASAP as it will fill up fast for the tourney.

Also, I will be writing a post soon how I got groped at work by a customer, and am now under the impression that there is something about me that attracts gay men. Not only do I attract them, but there is something about me that suggests I am ready to pull out my weiner at the drop of a dime. I will do some researching on me this week, and see what I come up with. It will be interesting to see how many homosexuals will aproach me in vegas. Anyway, that post is to come soon.

Again, if anyone needed a reason to go to Vegas, I am giving you one.

I'm Going To Be an Usher...Oh My!!!!

I recently was asked to be an usher at one of my good friends weddings. I will not say Fred Eck's name on account I don't want his name associated with anything I write, in case he loses his job and needs a new one in the future. In any event, I just wanted everyone to know that I am probably going to be the most important person at Fred's wedding. I come to this conclusion because I am smart and want a really good present. I was doing some research on the type of present an usher can expect to recieve for ushering, I came accross that "a nice way to thank them for all their help is to present them with a gift of engraved cufflinks at the rehearsal dinner or sometime before the wedding" I'm not saying I'm going to turn down engraved cufflinks, because god knows there are people in China that would kill just for one engraved cufflink. I don't want to be one of those people, but I feel beings I have the most important job, and this is true because I stated that in the begining of this post, thus making it fact, that I deserve the best and most expensive of gifts.

I don't think I am asking for to much. Think about what I have to do as opposed to everyone else(I am also assuming I am head usher, making me the boss of Chad) I have to arrive at my job (a.k.a. the ceramony) up to an hour early. I didn't even arrive to my own wedding that early. I have to make sure to seat all these people on the right sides. Fun fact, did you know there are two sides a "brides side" and a "grooms side" That's double the work of seating people. This is rediculous. I don't even think slaves (a.k.a. black people) had to work that hard. That's like asking a slave to pick two completely different cotton fields, one hundred miles apart, after having asked them to show up an hour early to work on Christmas. Do you get the picture I'm painting? Ushering is hard work, slave work, and I don't think I'm out of line when I ask for a present and a deposit on my labor that I will be giving for free. I mean I'm already showing up for work an hour early, don't you think I'm worth it. I do.

Anyway, the point I'm making is I just want a little recognition, a deposit, engraved cuflinks, power over Chad, a slave, and if it's no to much a thank you card. I just want my friend Fred to know how much I appreciate him and that is why I am willing to do this thankless job for nothing, and by nothing I mean for something.

I LOVE YOU FRED

Bangkock Dangerous Review

You wanted it, now I'm delivering what was supposed to be one of the biggest blockbusters ever. I watched this movie off my xbox, and I must say I originally thought it was a porn(imagine my disappointment...when life hands you lemons...jerk off). It wasn't, coincidentally the only redeeming value of this film was a boobie shot about midway through. Other then that, it lacked story, entertainment, and more boobies. I know a lot of my friends are not huge Nicolas Cage fans, but I for one like the guy. He starred in one of the best movies of all time, Raising Arizona, and for that role he will always be considered an "A" list actor. Anyway, I won't even bore you with the details of what this movie was about, it's that boring. If Clint Baer says something is boring, most likely it's very boring. Although, I do recommend you watch it just so you can see the boringness of it, except for the boob shot that I mentioned earlier........Bangkok Dangerous, is that seriously the best title they could come up for this movie? I mean it got me to watch it, but they should have named it Bangkok Dangerously Boring, something more true to what the movie is. Anyway, let me end by recommending you watch this film.....once.

When Life Hands You Lemons

I really have had nothing to write about lately. I keep seeing my brother post magical, fantastical things(e.g. Charles Dickandnuts P.H.D.), and I have nothing. I really didn't think this blog stuff through. I didn't realize how little I had to say.....mmmm. What to talk about? What's going on in my life......oh I remember....none of my friends called me on my birthday. My birthday is the day that I burst out of my mothers vagina. I remember as if it were yesterday. Sometimes, when I'm looking at porn(which is rare) I often gander at the soft, suptle lips of a ladies vagina and birthday memories come flashing to me. To think that I burst into this world through one of those vaginas. I thank God, when I get the chance, that I was born vaganally and not by cesarian(which is the gay way to be born). I really pity cesarian babies, because when they watch porn they can never have birthday memories. They need to watch a slasher film, or a stomach staple operation to have a flash back of their day of birth.......fags. Anyway, I'm losing my train of thought...where was I......oh yeah....when life hands you lemons....no not their yet...my moms vag "j" "j"....wait I better quit while I'm ahead. Here's the kicker to my story, when life hands you lemons make lemonade. Also, post note, that I came out of a vagina, and sucked on tit milk when I was born. All on the first day of life. Pretty amazying stuff. Namely don't forget the lemonade advice though, everything else was just filler.

It's Time to Pick a Movie...Oh Joy

Every year around this time I get a chance to make my friends watch a movie that they would more than likely never watch in their entire lives. I like to watch bad horror movies, but as it turns out not everyone shares this passion of mine. This year I will be choosing a movie from a list that I found on the web. If anyone feels like commenting...speak now or forever hold your peace.

They're Here

FAN IT UP

I can't possibly be anymore excited about my beloved Hornets than this year. They arguably have the best starting line up in the league with CP3(best point in the league), Peja(purest shooter in the league), David West(possibly the most important person to the team other than CP3), Tyson Chandler (got him from Chicago and has paid dividends, I believe he lead the league in offensive rebounds last year), and rounding out the starting five will either be Morris Peterson(aquired from the Raptors last year) and or Posey (aquired from the Celtics this year) both make a solid start at the 2 spot.

The only thing that worries me is their bench, they had a shakey bench last year and another one this year. Well I guess it's more a shallow bench than a shakey one. Their biggest bench contributor from last year was Jenero Pargo who went on to play ball in europe this year. A few standout bench players are Mike James(solid back up for CP3, but no Pargo) Julian Write (arguably the most athletic player on the team).....they really don't have much backing up Chandler or West....if one of those guys goes down the hornets would be in big trouble.

All in all I feel they have a competive edge this year with their youth and talent. If they don't win the championship this year than I beleive they will be in contention for years to come. One thing I know for sure is they are going to put on a show. CP3 and Chandler led the league by far with alley oops, and if that's not entertaining enough then let CP3 dazel you with his "skill", or David West play the 4 spot how it should be played with one of the most accurate mid range jumpers as well as some of the most powerful post up moves in the game. The scary thing about Chris Paul is that he isn't even fully developed as a player(he's 23). I can't even imagine him at the peak of his career. This year they have more games being televised than probably the last 5 or more years combined...I have no proof of this, but as a fan I don't remember their games getting televised....at least not since Larry Johnson and Alonzo Mourning left the team.

In any case..if your not a fan of the NBA then I encourage you to watch a game or two this year, it's one huge sports soap opera and I love it. I feel like I am in third grade again which is when I got into the Hornets. I admit the league had been in a lull, but I really believe they have cleaned up the game quite a bit, and there are stars again as well as a ton of rivalry games. To me there is no other league more entertaining than the NBA.