My Room Smells Like Pickles-(A True Story)

Chapter 1

The setting is Southwest Missouri State University

The year is 2000

My Name is Clint Baer and the story I'm about to tell you is true. The names and places have not changed, because I want the truth be told.

It's my first week of college, I was very underwelmed by the people and activities the school had to offer me. I tried this club, went to a bbq at some Greeks house, but still nothing sparked in me. It was like I had this void that needed to be filled. I attended some stuff that the Catholic Campus Community was sponsering, and I was attending one of their bbq's when I met "her". I was casually eating my corn on the cob when "she"(who shall be named later) introduced herself. "Hey, my name is Sarah(this is not what she will be known by later)" I responded "nice to meet you , my name is Clint". There was about a minute of awkward silence, I then said "I think I better get back to my dorm, I have class tomorrow and wanted my wits about me" Sarah said: "nice to meet you, I'll see you around" I scurried back to my dorm where I had originally planned to live the rest of my life, not knowing what lay before me my first week of college.........to be continued

Chapter 2

A day or two later I get a call from Sarah on my dorm phone. Normaly it's cool when chicks call you, but not when they just met you the day prior and you only said like two things to them and you never gave them your number and they seemed a little creepy to begin with. Anyway, I humored her with conversation and she wanted me to come over to her dorm and move some furniture around or something, my memory is a little shakey as to what she actually wanted but she tried to get me over to her place is the point I am trying to make. I told her that I had a lot to do and I was wanting to get ready to go play two hand touch football with a group from the catholic campus ministry....from the bbq that I had attended earlier that week. She seemed like she understood. I thought that got rid of her but it only made the inevitable that much more inevitable.

Chapter 3

It's two hand touch football night, and I'm feeling all right. I can see there are a lot of people here to play. Let me see, oh look over there it's Matt, and who is that skinny guy...oh that's just Fred....but what about this guy that's just Justin...wait a minute I know that girl...yup why it's Sarah(dum dum dum) what is she doing here. Oh well shake it off Clint, she has just as much right to be here as anywone else. Long story short we get done with our rousing game of two hand touch and Sarah's first words to me were "MY ROOM SMELLS LIKE PICKLES." "You have my attention I say" and off to her room I go. Now I know what a lot of you are thinking, "I thought you were not interested in this girl", Your right I'm not, but who can resist a line like my room smells like pickles, it was a unique situation to me. So, off to her room I go. On my way up to her room she grabs me by the hand and interlocks fingers with me, I find this odd beings I hardly know the girl, but I let the hold hands thing go to venture into her room that supposidly smelled of pickles.

Chapter 4

As it turned out her room did not smell like pickles. It was just her clever ploy to get me in her room to what I believe is rape me. While I was in her room she told me she came to college to get away from her problems back home. Aparently her best friend was in jail for murder and she was some how an accomplis or realated to this story somehow. As I told you earlier my memory is fuzzy. Anyway she called me about 5 or 6 times a day for the next few days, it got to where I was ignoring calls and making it obvious I didn't want to talk to her. By Sunday I recieved a letter that I have framed in a box and will some day share with you, that was handed to me by what I presume was her only friend. It was a letter breaking up with me as if she was my girl freind. There wer many humurouse things in this letter, but like I said when I find it I will print it out for you. I didn't even know I had a girlfiend.

Chapter 5

The whole point of this story is to let any and or all people know where the term "MY ROOM SMELLS LIKE PICKLES" come from. It may have let some of you down, but rest assured it my be the most brilliant pick up line ever. It doesn't matter how creepy you are, it will get your prey in your room. Mind you all this happened within the first week or two of my first year of college. A few names we came of for Sarah was S.S. Sarah, which stand for Super Sluty Sarah, or Super Scary Sarah...both are acceptable. But the one thing I will always remember will be that catchy 100% effective pick up line......MY ROOM SMELLS LIKE PICKLES