All Right, Time to Clean up My Blog

As I have stated, I would like to keep my blog going. So I will be redesigning my page. I just wanted anybody who actually follows this blog, to know that. I will also be allowing anonymous posts. That way if I ever type something inapropriate, you will not be attached to this blog. I will however be watching the things I say. You can rest assured that I will try and keep this page pg-13. For example, my sweet pic is of my son riding in a busy street with his great grandfather, or you could view it as a pedaphiles fantasy. (That comment is so pg-13)

A quick view of things I will be posting about:
1. Resident Evil in 3-D
2. My brother and sister getting married (one of these was a surprise)
3. The Hornets upcoming season
4. My love of a certain Missouri State Basketballer (can you cas who)(I know who it is)
5. A day in the life of a roof estimator (this will be like an e-job shadow) personally I have always wanted to job shadow someone, but sadly this has never happened for me.
6. Top fast food chains for a breakfast burito

Anyway, I look forward to touching on these topics for the entertainment of me, and to maybe keep my friends in the Clint loop.

The Meaning of Life

The older I get the more I ponder the question..."What is the meaning of life?" I have had a lot of things going on as of late that inspire me to give my views on what the meaning of life is. Unfortuneately no one asked me to give my opinion on the meaning of life, as I was banking on, but instead prefer me to give the reason black people have ashy elbows.

So here goes....the reason black people have ashy elbows. But before I give my reason for black peoples ashy elbows, let me doubly emphasize my disapointment for no one asking me to post something profound....like the meaning of life. I am very very disapointed, because I have so much to teach those who have questions about things, such as the meaning of life. For heavens sake, me giving an expose on why ball sacs are wrinkly would look like the most profound thing every written next to why black peoples elbows are ashy.

Without further interuption, here is the reason black people have ashy elbows: And that reason is because they eat so much fried chicken. Fried chicken is the leading cause of ashyelbowidous. The only cure is not being lazy, swimming, or being white. I chose to be white a coons age ago. There you have it folks, the reason the blacks have ashy elbows. Please give me something better to write about next time.

I'm Back...For Real This Time

My friends, you will have to forgive me for taking so long to write a post. I have been spending my days meditating, and by meditating I of course mean trying to find a deeper meaning to life.....just kidding, I've been filling my days by rubbing that quick one off to Miley Cyrus, although she's starting to lose her appeal to me(probably b/c she's so old now). But I digress, it's time to end my silent strike and start posting, because if I don't my friends will forget who I am, what I do, and why I go to the MVC tourney. I really don't have a theme for this post. Just wanted to post something to let people know I'm blogging it up again. I want to list a few quick things I miss:

1)My friends: Matt, Chad, Martin, Fred, and of course Justin....and all the others that are not friend enough to post a name for.
2)Kevins mom.
3)Fucking Kevins mom.
4)Making love to Kevins mom.
5)Fingering Kevins mom.
6)Doing Kevins mom in the ass.
7)That time I thought I was having sex with Kevins mom, but it turned out to be Kevins dad....(i'll let you in on a secret, I knew it was Kevins Dad)

Well that's it for now, I'll post something soon. I have so many interesting things to post about. If you would like to hear my opinion on any topics please let me know through your comments. No subject is tabou. Let me give you some ideas for giving me ideas for things to write about. E.G. Clint, I would love to hear your opinion about Kevins Mom. or Hey Clint, I would love to hear your opinion about Kevins moms naked body, or Hey Clint, what's the deal with you and Kevins mom? If your lucky enough, I might blog abut a topic you inquired about. That's it for now, I look forward to writing again.

To Be Continued....

Climbing The Ladder

I never thought in a million years I would have to defend my position on the ladder of friendship. I understand this will be put to a vote by the current rungs. So, I will have to appeal to each one of you individually . Hold on, its a nick jonas and Miley Cyrus video.....Now I'm inspired...here we go.

Justin
You know I have always appreciated your friendship. I understand you recently got put back on the ladder you were once taken off of. So, you of all people should not want to put me through that hell, that you have experienced first hand.....hold on that miley, NIck song ended up being a Selena Gomez and the other two brothers video......This could totally make a good porn. Anyway, point is I fully expect to receive your vote. If you vote for me I will suck your balls whilste you do the famous Justin Balls voice....I luv it.

Next

Chad
Do I really need to beg for your vote? We have slept together, eaten together, through a gay party together, and last but not least we bought dish tv together. You wouldn't even be on this ladder if it wasn't for me getting team leader in our business management class earning me an even higher score than the group. Thank god I have killer paper rock siccor skills. Chad if you vote for me I will let you win paper rock siccors for sucking your balls. But just to be safe lets say if I win I suck your balls too.

also next

Matt
We have done a lot together. You even let my evil hampster live in your house for a while, at the same time Brian Appleseed lived there, that's when I knew you liked me. Remember that time I filled your hole at your house. I even had some of my mud get on me and had to use your hose to wash it off. I had to turn your hose on first and then, turn it off till the liquid stopped cumming out. But, that's neither here nor there. For you, to earn your vote, I will do something different than the other two, I will suck your balls, whilste using both thumbs simultaneously shoving them up your hiney hole.

Last but not least
Fred
I, in no way expect to receive your vote. But I do know it has to suck to not have anybody to compete with. We have done the milk challenge together, peep challenge, cracker challenge, and swim ac cross the pond challenge. If I'm not on the ladder who would you have to compete with. Regardless of if you vote for me, I will full out have gay sex with you(not after your married though....it's a sin at that point)

So, Gentlemen, I would appreciate to stay on the ladder. I am still the same person I was before I left for Louisiana, except I play pool, and magic the gathering. I in know way have increased my friend making abilities down here(or made myself more appealing to other guys....please note the magic and pool reference). I haven't made any new friends, no matter how many guys balls I suck. If I don't have you that I have nothing. That would leave me with my wife and son, and what kind of life would that be just to have those two. In closing, no matter what happens, can we still suck each others balls from time to time.

Take a while and think about what your losing if you don't vote for me.

Your Yahoo Fantasy Football Champion,
El Grande Vergas

I mean just Clint

P.S.
If you don't vote for me or let me suck your balls....I will rape you

I'm So Money

I am writing this post namely to brag on myself. Over the last few months I have taken the hobby of pool, nine ball in particular. I play on a team, and we recently won a tourney this weekend that gets us to Vegas. So, if anyone is planning a trip to Vegas, I will be there from the 20-26th, and staying at the Regency to participate in this huge tourney.(also, if you want to stay at the Regency this week I would book ASAP as it will fill up fast for the tourney.

Also, I will be writing a post soon how I got groped at work by a customer, and am now under the impression that there is something about me that attracts gay men. Not only do I attract them, but there is something about me that suggests I am ready to pull out my weiner at the drop of a dime. I will do some researching on me this week, and see what I come up with. It will be interesting to see how many homosexuals will aproach me in vegas. Anyway, that post is to come soon.

Again, if anyone needed a reason to go to Vegas, I am giving you one.

I'm Going To Be an Usher...Oh My!!!!

I recently was asked to be an usher at one of my good friends weddings. I will not say Fred Eck's name on account I don't want his name associated with anything I write, in case he loses his job and needs a new one in the future. In any event, I just wanted everyone to know that I am probably going to be the most important person at Fred's wedding. I come to this conclusion because I am smart and want a really good present. I was doing some research on the type of present an usher can expect to recieve for ushering, I came accross that "a nice way to thank them for all their help is to present them with a gift of engraved cufflinks at the rehearsal dinner or sometime before the wedding" I'm not saying I'm going to turn down engraved cufflinks, because god knows there are people in China that would kill just for one engraved cufflink. I don't want to be one of those people, but I feel beings I have the most important job, and this is true because I stated that in the begining of this post, thus making it fact, that I deserve the best and most expensive of gifts.

I don't think I am asking for to much. Think about what I have to do as opposed to everyone else(I am also assuming I am head usher, making me the boss of Chad) I have to arrive at my job (a.k.a. the ceramony) up to an hour early. I didn't even arrive to my own wedding that early. I have to make sure to seat all these people on the right sides. Fun fact, did you know there are two sides a "brides side" and a "grooms side" That's double the work of seating people. This is rediculous. I don't even think slaves (a.k.a. black people) had to work that hard. That's like asking a slave to pick two completely different cotton fields, one hundred miles apart, after having asked them to show up an hour early to work on Christmas. Do you get the picture I'm painting? Ushering is hard work, slave work, and I don't think I'm out of line when I ask for a present and a deposit on my labor that I will be giving for free. I mean I'm already showing up for work an hour early, don't you think I'm worth it. I do.

Anyway, the point I'm making is I just want a little recognition, a deposit, engraved cuflinks, power over Chad, a slave, and if it's no to much a thank you card. I just want my friend Fred to know how much I appreciate him and that is why I am willing to do this thankless job for nothing, and by nothing I mean for something.

I LOVE YOU FRED

Bangkock Dangerous Review

You wanted it, now I'm delivering what was supposed to be one of the biggest blockbusters ever. I watched this movie off my xbox, and I must say I originally thought it was a porn(imagine my disappointment...when life hands you lemons...jerk off). It wasn't, coincidentally the only redeeming value of this film was a boobie shot about midway through. Other then that, it lacked story, entertainment, and more boobies. I know a lot of my friends are not huge Nicolas Cage fans, but I for one like the guy. He starred in one of the best movies of all time, Raising Arizona, and for that role he will always be considered an "A" list actor. Anyway, I won't even bore you with the details of what this movie was about, it's that boring. If Clint Baer says something is boring, most likely it's very boring. Although, I do recommend you watch it just so you can see the boringness of it, except for the boob shot that I mentioned earlier........Bangkok Dangerous, is that seriously the best title they could come up for this movie? I mean it got me to watch it, but they should have named it Bangkok Dangerously Boring, something more true to what the movie is. Anyway, let me end by recommending you watch this film.....once.

When Life Hands You Lemons

I really have had nothing to write about lately. I keep seeing my brother post magical, fantastical things(e.g. Charles Dickandnuts P.H.D.), and I have nothing. I really didn't think this blog stuff through. I didn't realize how little I had to say.....mmmm. What to talk about? What's going on in my life......oh I remember....none of my friends called me on my birthday. My birthday is the day that I burst out of my mothers vagina. I remember as if it were yesterday. Sometimes, when I'm looking at porn(which is rare) I often gander at the soft, suptle lips of a ladies vagina and birthday memories come flashing to me. To think that I burst into this world through one of those vaginas. I thank God, when I get the chance, that I was born vaganally and not by cesarian(which is the gay way to be born). I really pity cesarian babies, because when they watch porn they can never have birthday memories. They need to watch a slasher film, or a stomach staple operation to have a flash back of their day of birth.......fags. Anyway, I'm losing my train of thought...where was I......oh yeah....when life hands you lemons....no not their yet...my moms vag "j" "j"....wait I better quit while I'm ahead. Here's the kicker to my story, when life hands you lemons make lemonade. Also, post note, that I came out of a vagina, and sucked on tit milk when I was born. All on the first day of life. Pretty amazying stuff. Namely don't forget the lemonade advice though, everything else was just filler.

It's Time to Pick a Movie...Oh Joy

Every year around this time I get a chance to make my friends watch a movie that they would more than likely never watch in their entire lives. I like to watch bad horror movies, but as it turns out not everyone shares this passion of mine. This year I will be choosing a movie from a list that I found on the web. If anyone feels like commenting...speak now or forever hold your peace.

They're Here

FAN IT UP

I can't possibly be anymore excited about my beloved Hornets than this year. They arguably have the best starting line up in the league with CP3(best point in the league), Peja(purest shooter in the league), David West(possibly the most important person to the team other than CP3), Tyson Chandler (got him from Chicago and has paid dividends, I believe he lead the league in offensive rebounds last year), and rounding out the starting five will either be Morris Peterson(aquired from the Raptors last year) and or Posey (aquired from the Celtics this year) both make a solid start at the 2 spot.

The only thing that worries me is their bench, they had a shakey bench last year and another one this year. Well I guess it's more a shallow bench than a shakey one. Their biggest bench contributor from last year was Jenero Pargo who went on to play ball in europe this year. A few standout bench players are Mike James(solid back up for CP3, but no Pargo) Julian Write (arguably the most athletic player on the team).....they really don't have much backing up Chandler or West....if one of those guys goes down the hornets would be in big trouble.

All in all I feel they have a competive edge this year with their youth and talent. If they don't win the championship this year than I beleive they will be in contention for years to come. One thing I know for sure is they are going to put on a show. CP3 and Chandler led the league by far with alley oops, and if that's not entertaining enough then let CP3 dazel you with his "skill", or David West play the 4 spot how it should be played with one of the most accurate mid range jumpers as well as some of the most powerful post up moves in the game. The scary thing about Chris Paul is that he isn't even fully developed as a player(he's 23). I can't even imagine him at the peak of his career. This year they have more games being televised than probably the last 5 or more years combined...I have no proof of this, but as a fan I don't remember their games getting televised....at least not since Larry Johnson and Alonzo Mourning left the team.

In any case..if your not a fan of the NBA then I encourage you to watch a game or two this year, it's one huge sports soap opera and I love it. I feel like I am in third grade again which is when I got into the Hornets. I admit the league had been in a lull, but I really believe they have cleaned up the game quite a bit, and there are stars again as well as a ton of rivalry games. To me there is no other league more entertaining than the NBA.

Quick Movie Reviews

As I get ready to head towards Gaylord Michigan, I am thinking to myself "self, I might not make it back". So in the event that this is indeed my last blog, I would like it to be something people can remember me by........and that is with some quick movie reviews...in case you get bored and want to watch a movie this weekend. You all can think had Clint not given his life up for a trip to Gaylord Michigan, then I probably would have never watched "to be named movie". So, here we go, my quick to the point movie reviews...

1)Death Race
If your the type of person that takes movies literally and can't suspend reality then this movie isn't for you. If you like hard action, cars, violence then this movie is for you. This would not be a waste of time if you only had a few hours to live.

2)Ritiouse Kill
You would think with a killer cast this movie is a can't miss. You would be wrong. If I was about to die and watched this movie, I probably would have died at some point in the movie from boredom. Probably within the first 15 minutes. Do not waste your time with this movie.

3)Burn After Reading
I'm not saying just anyone is going to like this movies. But, if you like the Cowen brothers, which I do, then more than likely you will love this movie. Some of you might be disappointed with their last movie, namely for the ending, but this ending is a must see and might be their best ending to any movie they have made. I will go as far as to say that the ending might be one of the best ever. I for one am glad I took time out of my life before my death to watch this movie.

4)American Carol
I went in already leaning to the right, and thought this movie was a can't miss. I was wrong, the humor was lame, the points were kind of a stretch.....it's kind of hard for me to recommend this movie when Bill Oreilly is the funniest thing in it. But since I lean to the right I will say beyond a shadow of a doubt this is the best most funny movie of the year. A must see before anyone dies. In fact I will go on a limb and say you can't get through the pearly gates without watching this movie.

5)Eagle Eye
I would like to give an accurate review of this movie but I kept falling in and out of sleep. If you watch this movie, you will probably say to yourself "man I should watch Death Race" So, you should probably save yourself the regret and watch death race. Don't take that as me not recomending this movie, which I'm not, take it as me saying that Death Race is awsome, which I am. What movie am I reviewing, oh yeah Eagle Eye, it's watchable....probably better wait til dvd or dollar theater, but if you think you might die on a trip to Gaylord Michagan watch it before the trip and pay a full ticket price.

Well, I'm hope this helps everyone decide what to waste your valuable time. I hope I make it back from Gaylord Michigan.......I can't believe I'm going to Gaylord Michigan......hell yeah I'm buying a shirt.

My Room Smells Like Pickles-(A True Story)

Chapter 1

The setting is Southwest Missouri State University

The year is 2000

My Name is Clint Baer and the story I'm about to tell you is true. The names and places have not changed, because I want the truth be told.

It's my first week of college, I was very underwelmed by the people and activities the school had to offer me. I tried this club, went to a bbq at some Greeks house, but still nothing sparked in me. It was like I had this void that needed to be filled. I attended some stuff that the Catholic Campus Community was sponsering, and I was attending one of their bbq's when I met "her". I was casually eating my corn on the cob when "she"(who shall be named later) introduced herself. "Hey, my name is Sarah(this is not what she will be known by later)" I responded "nice to meet you , my name is Clint". There was about a minute of awkward silence, I then said "I think I better get back to my dorm, I have class tomorrow and wanted my wits about me" Sarah said: "nice to meet you, I'll see you around" I scurried back to my dorm where I had originally planned to live the rest of my life, not knowing what lay before me my first week of college.........to be continued

Chapter 2

A day or two later I get a call from Sarah on my dorm phone. Normaly it's cool when chicks call you, but not when they just met you the day prior and you only said like two things to them and you never gave them your number and they seemed a little creepy to begin with. Anyway, I humored her with conversation and she wanted me to come over to her dorm and move some furniture around or something, my memory is a little shakey as to what she actually wanted but she tried to get me over to her place is the point I am trying to make. I told her that I had a lot to do and I was wanting to get ready to go play two hand touch football with a group from the catholic campus ministry....from the bbq that I had attended earlier that week. She seemed like she understood. I thought that got rid of her but it only made the inevitable that much more inevitable.

Chapter 3

It's two hand touch football night, and I'm feeling all right. I can see there are a lot of people here to play. Let me see, oh look over there it's Matt, and who is that skinny guy...oh that's just Fred....but what about this guy that's just Justin...wait a minute I know that girl...yup why it's Sarah(dum dum dum) what is she doing here. Oh well shake it off Clint, she has just as much right to be here as anywone else. Long story short we get done with our rousing game of two hand touch and Sarah's first words to me were "MY ROOM SMELLS LIKE PICKLES." "You have my attention I say" and off to her room I go. Now I know what a lot of you are thinking, "I thought you were not interested in this girl", Your right I'm not, but who can resist a line like my room smells like pickles, it was a unique situation to me. So, off to her room I go. On my way up to her room she grabs me by the hand and interlocks fingers with me, I find this odd beings I hardly know the girl, but I let the hold hands thing go to venture into her room that supposidly smelled of pickles.

Chapter 4

As it turned out her room did not smell like pickles. It was just her clever ploy to get me in her room to what I believe is rape me. While I was in her room she told me she came to college to get away from her problems back home. Aparently her best friend was in jail for murder and she was some how an accomplis or realated to this story somehow. As I told you earlier my memory is fuzzy. Anyway she called me about 5 or 6 times a day for the next few days, it got to where I was ignoring calls and making it obvious I didn't want to talk to her. By Sunday I recieved a letter that I have framed in a box and will some day share with you, that was handed to me by what I presume was her only friend. It was a letter breaking up with me as if she was my girl freind. There wer many humurouse things in this letter, but like I said when I find it I will print it out for you. I didn't even know I had a girlfiend.

Chapter 5

The whole point of this story is to let any and or all people know where the term "MY ROOM SMELLS LIKE PICKLES" come from. It may have let some of you down, but rest assured it my be the most brilliant pick up line ever. It doesn't matter how creepy you are, it will get your prey in your room. Mind you all this happened within the first week or two of my first year of college. A few names we came of for Sarah was S.S. Sarah, which stand for Super Sluty Sarah, or Super Scary Sarah...both are acceptable. But the one thing I will always remember will be that catchy 100% effective pick up line......MY ROOM SMELLS LIKE PICKLES

If you like Fantasy Football Youll Get a kick Out of This

Somebody in one of my fantasy leagues posted this.......I think a lot of people can relate..

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/23c38d474b

I am Torn

I was under the impression I would never have to face this choice, but now that the X-box360 has dropped to $200 I don't know if I can pass that up. I am very playstation loyal, but at half the cost I can get a system that is just as good in the graphics and gameplay department....what should I do? I would think PS3 would drop their price, but how long will that take? A side question to all of this, is how long til these companies come out with a newer system.......somebody help me make big boy decisions....

This is Me Catering To Martin

How about those Titans. Man, I know what a lot of you are thinking....the titans suck. I'm here to tell you that the Titans are awsome. I mean seriously, who can't love a team that was once in the largest city in America, named after the largest sorce of energy in the world....only to move to a country music state, and named after people from the movie "300", oh those were spartans, close enough. Speaking of 300, I burnt that illeagaly the other day. To me a movie isn't worth watching unless it is downloaded illeagaly, the same follows suit with music. I'm getting off track, I also want it noted that the Houston Astros.....hold on I just came a little....the Houston Atros are like my fave team. That lance Berkman fella...yeah what a catch...I used to say I had a man crush for him, but fuck that, I'm totally gay for the dude and I want him to have my children. I watched Junior, and I sometimes wish that Berkman could do what Arnold did. I digress, did somebody say something about Fantasy Sports...Man am I into fantasy sports. The only thing that pisses me off, is that no matter what league I'm in, I always need to mention how I have the best team and I don't understand how I keep losing. It always gets me to the point where I threaten to leave the league or bench my players. Seriously, if it wasn't for getting outscored all the time I would be undefeated. In closing I would like to pledge alligance to the Mizzou Tigers, I love you boys, make me proud this year. I'm so glad I love the best teams in the world like Rockets, Titan, Tigers, Baers, Astros, and what ever gay soccer team that plays in europe.

WAR chewing tobacco
WAR dosequise
WAR Martin saying one positive fucking thing about my blog
WAR Martin taking care of my tickets
WAR Martin getting pregnant
WAR Martin pulling his lance jerkman
WAR Miley Cyrus

OUT

Chris Baer's Answer to the Zombie Question

Question: To Reference Zombie Question Please go to www.matthewlowrance.blogspot.com , Basically the question posed is : If you could have one sidekick and a weapon, who and what would they be to help fight zombies?

Chris Baer.....my brother............had the following answer to said question

Answer: Zeus and a stick of lipstick (Cosmetic Category: Ambrosia Twilight). Implementation of Person and Weaponry: Step 1: Sacrifice livestock and promise first born to Apollo (Archer god of Olympus), preferably a fatted animal of some kind, any kind (Except ermines. There are only so many ermines that can be blood-fucked until it starts getting ho-hum.) Step 2: After you have gained Apollo's trust, subtly bring up the fact that you have a mother who's on dialysis and she's self-conscious about her complexion under the institutional lights of the hospital, and that what she really needs is a once-over with some sort of heavy-grade cosmetic, lipstick perhaps (wink wink). Wait for Apollo to pick up on subtle hint, after which he should bring up the fact that he lives in an infinite reality where such cosmetics exits. "Oh really?" You say, playing it cool, pretending not to give a crap about such trivial matters. "Yeah," Apollo would answer. "In fact I could score you some right now. Zues's wife, Hera, has got a butt-load of Ambrosia Twilight lipstick at her pad as we speak. I could zoom back up to Olympus and score some off her right now. She owes me one, anyway. I took the fall after he caught her in bed with Hercules a few years back. It took me twenty-seven days and nights to convince that ornery fuck that I was the one that was astraddle Hercules with the tortoise-shell strap on. I had to bribe Sleep and Wind to back me up. It was embarrassing." "Whatever," you say, shrugging your shoulders, still playing it cool. Step 3: After lipstick is acquired from Apollo, break in zombie's wardrobe. Take zombie's buttoned-shirts from teakwood (Neiman Marcus grade) hangers and proceed to rub Ambrosia Twilight lipstick on the collars. Take one shirt home. Step 4: Summon Zues through more animal sacrifices and first fruits (Ermines accepted. Zues isn't picky). Once Zues is summoned, show Zues the zombie collar and inform him that it is hard to fall asleep at night because of all of the thumping and moaning coming from the downtown cemetery. Zues sees that it is Ambrosia Twilight and goes absolutely ba-fuckin-nannas. "Don't kill the messenger," you say, backing up a step. Zues doesn't even acknowledge your presence. "I've been cuckolded!" he yells. Zues zooms down to the cemetery, finds the zombie, and jams a lightning bolt the size of a 747 Boeing sideways up its ass. You lay back, crack a beer, and watch the fireworks. Your mission and is complete, and you're up one collared shirt.

Damn You Gustov

First and for most, thank god I have internet access. Due to weather conditions in my new found state...I was forced to take refuge in Little Rock Arkansas for the first 4 days. Mind you there was internet access there, but I did not find the time to use it. I trecked down to Houston, TX where I had to use my phone for the internet, I was in Texas for two days. When I got the clear to head over to Lafayette where we finally got power back. Upon going back to work, I was going to catch up on all my internet goings on, but the computers were down at work. This brings me to now....now I'm home and on a computer that works. My body is going through many emotions right now. I feel very privilaged to be on the internet right now. I know it was only a week, but it felt like an eternity . The point of me giving a run down of my beings with out the internet is to confirm that I don't know if I can ever live without it, when I'm lonely it's there, when I need a quick pick me up it is there, when I need to waste time at work because I have nothing else to do...it's there, but it is the time that we take the internet for granted that it stirs up a hurricane and makes ones life internet less. Please internet don't let Ike take you from me like that son of a bitch Gustov.......which I'm prettey sure is a mexican hurricane.....now Ikes a tough call, he's a black hurricane and might just give up and quit, on account of the lazyness. Anyhoo, I'm back and ready to start putting some posts up on the board...I'm falling behind. Things to come, the story behind "my room smells like pickles" and that hum dinger of a zombie question from my friend Matt. OUT

Go USA

This is the time to stand up and say, yeah I'm proud to be an american. Phelps is making us proud, the redeem team is tearing things up, the sand volley ball girls are hot until facial close ups, and lest we forget we still can't win a friggin game of soccer. These are the things as of lately that make me say "hey man....I'm american and I'm proud as hell"..............this counts as a post by the way.

A note to animals

I am here to bring justice in the world for all. Society(and law) tells us that we can't have sex in public, with animals, with anyone 17 and under, without consent....and yet we are letting our animals run wild with their vaginas and weiners. I can't count how many times a dog has raped my leg, and what is the penalty for this offense.....a "NO", and we all forget what happened to my leg. I have seen a fish jack off on eggs in public a plethera of times without one person saying a thing. Is this the society I live in, a society that lets animals rub there suxuallity all up in our faces. No sir, I am standing up to all animals, and I say they should all be put through the same oppression as anyone else. I can't tell you how many hampsters I have lost to unplanned pregnencies. We need to edgucate these animals on the power of sex and the consiquences that come with it. If we don't then who will. I am off my soap box for now, I just felt this is something that had to be said. I don't know what the solution is, sex ed videos, animal condoms,.....I don't know, but at the very least could we make beastiality leagal....with age regulations and consent of course(I'm not sick like that). It's just not fair to me that they get to get all the hot stuff without judgement and we as humans are left wanting more. Let us all stand up and ask......what ever happened to equality for all?

My Veiw on The Current Election

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